grandma

I left for a vacation to myrtle beach at 8:00 on a Friday morning a couple weeks ago and my room-mate and I drove about 10 hours down there. We had checked into a hotel for the night and met up with his brother for dinner. That night, I got the call from my dad that my grandmother - his mom - had passed away. She'd been ill for a while and non-responsive - and not eating or drinking anything for several days - so it wasn't a surprise, but sudden all the same.

Dad said he was meeting with the funeral director the next day and would have more information on the arrangements then.

The next day I helped my room-mate and his family check into the condo for the week and I then waited for the call with the news about the plans. Mom called me on my cell and gave me the details and I called a bereavement travel service that my room-mate's company offers and made some travel plans to fly there for the service - since the visitation would be Tuesday and service on Wednesday - all in Illinois. I made a flight for Monday morning with a return trip to MB on Thursday.

I was at the MB airport bright and early, got checked in, and flew to Atlanta. There was a 2 hour layover, then on to Bloomington, IL. My folks picked me up and dropped me off to stay with my cousin. On Tuesday we met up at the church for the visitation. Grandma looked good - like I remembered her - but that didn't make seeing her there any easier. My parents, my dad's sister and one of his brothers and their spouses were up at the front to greet people and talk to them. The rest of the family - grand and great-grand children - sat in the pews and mostly kept ourselves. We were there for about 4 hours and there was a big turnout - grandma had lived in the town her whole life and had a lot of friends.

The next morning - Wednesday - we headed back to the church for the service. The minister didn't know grandma, but my uncle had met with him and shared some good stories. Instead of using those, the minister instead talked mostly about himself, which puzzled and annoyed most of us. We then went to the graveside and told my brother-in-law that they should have at least broken the speed limit for grandma in the procession - she was known for having an unapologetic lead foot. The service at the graveside was quick and on the way back to the church for lunch... I broke down. I'd had some bad moments, but riding with mom and dad as we left the cemetery I started weeping. I guess it makes sense it would hit me then, but even having made what I thought was peace with her loss, the finality overwhelmed me and it was a bit before I could get control of myself again. After the lunch at the church, my sister and brother-in-law headed back to Ohio and I got dropped off at my cousin's house. I had dinner that night with my uncle's family and helped with some computer issues.

And then we talked about my uncle that didn't show up at his mother's visitation, funeral, graveside, or luncheon. There's some bad blood there between his siblings, but I think we all thought that he would at least show up. My aunt sent him a text message when grandma passed - which sounds a little cold, but he doesn't answer his phone and leaves his voicemail full.

So, he missed the whole thing - a chance to say goodbye and maybe mend some fences. Now, I can't imagine my dad and his other two siblings forgiving this. Really sad.

My parents dropped me back off at the airport on Thursday morning and I did my trip in reverse, getting back to MB at 3:30. I wowed the passangers and the flight crew with my folding on the trips and now it was time to get back to my beach vacation.