Things are out of sync, it seems

The latest update on my aunt is that she's in good spirits and recovering from her brain surgery. The doctors got 85% of the tumor, but the remaining 15% is "the bad kind" of cancer. Left untreated, she may have less than two years. She's got another appointment with a doctor once she's healed up a bit more from the surgery to see what treatment options she has. The surgeon estimates that if she hadn't had the seizures when she did, she might not have lasted 2 months. So, I guess the seizures were a good thing, but I don't think that really balances out with the negative of what they revealed.

I've got my own health issues plaguing me - though nothing as severe as what my aunt has going on. My recent trip to the doctor - and the subsequent bloodwork - has revealed that I have "moderately high cholesterol". They didn't give me the exact numbers over the phone, but told me to watch what I eat and get another test done in 6 months.

Which sucks. I mean, I already try to eat fairly well, but apparently there's been too much fast-food in my diet. I sense a lot of whole grain and salads in my future.

I've also got an appointment to see a doctor about my snoring, which continues to be epic. The doctor I'll be seeing in a couple of weeks is a surgeon - and that bothers me a bunch. I mean, aren't there more placebos and hack remedies to try first? I haven't committed to anything yet and I guess if I've got some kind of apnea the longer I wait the worse it could be for me, but it still worries me.

Work has been crazy busy - and we ran into a difficult situation recently. I think I've mentioned before that I've helped with usability testing on websites, well, we're getting ready to do another round of testing and I contacted the software providers about getting an upgrade on the testing application. They responded back and told me that it had already been done - by another on-campus department. When the project was first kicked off, my group supplied the software and the computer and another department supplied the location. And now we've got a third department that took over the facility and didn't bother to check with anyone on the software or - more importantly - the scheduling. Which has suddenly become more complicated.

To top it off, it looks like I'll be leading the sessions as well as doing tech support on the project. I sort of knew this was coming and it will be a good opportunity that I'm pretty sure I could do in my sleep (provided the snoring doesn't bother anyone), but there's still a degree of stress with that. We're getting it all worked out and in the long run it's actually better for my group - but still...

Yeah, yeah- I know. "Pity, party of one"

I've got a good job, a car, and an apartment. Enough money in the bank. I'm in relatively good shape and I get along with people - and I sleep really throughly. I should be happy, but a little misery seems to creep in.

In other news... I've resumed digitizing my music collection. I feel a bit like a robot loading the CD's into my computer and then removing then once the music has been added to my external hard-drive. But, I'm also rewatching seasons 1-3 of the Venture Bros. so the time goes by quickly.

I watched Lost last night - a good episode, but I think the "flash-sideways" into an alternate timeline is getting less interesting in the face of the "main" timeline. I also watched V - which is not bad but the pace seems a little slow.

I'm going to hit the pool again today. Planning on using my flippers again and seeing if I can do a mile with them on.

Well, time to wrap up a few projects before I go for my swim/lunch. Got a pile of meetings this afternoon.

After all that, I'm skipping my swim today

This morning, I took an early lunch to go to the doctor's office to get some blood drawn. I would have done this on Wednesday when I had my regular appointment, but I didn't know I shouldn't have eaten anything. So, hungry, I get to the doctor's office and start to sign in. Oh, no, I'm at the wrong window. So, I go to the right window and they tell me to sign in and also sign in at a yet another window. I get in line there, sign in, and get out some paper - assuming a long wait.

Surprisingly, my name is called after only a short wait and I go into a small room where the very friendly nurse tells me she doesn't like to keep people waiting. In moments she had drawn the blood and sent me on my way - telling me to go right on past the other windows. No need to check out - or pay, apparently - since this would normally have been done as part of my appointment.

I head over to McDonalds to get some lunch and then back to work. Given the time of day, I had to park far from my office and walk back. I stepped on a patch of black ice...

... and down I went. I hit the ground like Whitney Houston hitting a crack pipe. (Okay, so that's a little mean, but come on, the woman had it all and destroyed her voice and career with drugs).

I landed on the meaty part of my butt, rolled onto my back, then hit my head on the ground.

Chicken nuggets flew everywhere.

(wait, that made it sound like chicken nuggets flew out of my head like some kind of poultry pinata. I meant that I lost control of my bag of McDonald's and the chicken nuggets went all over the place when I hit my head on pavement.)

I started to get up, then just lay there for a moment hoping to get some sympathy from a random passerby. When I realized that wasn't going to happen, I got up and gathered the remains of my lunch and my dignity. Lunch went in the trash and I went back to the office.

After checking in, I headed back out to try and find my sunglasses and get some lunch. Sunglasses found at the scene of the crime and I got some lunch at a restaurant on campus.

I'm back in the office, a little worse for wear. Headache, tired, and grumpy. I'd really just like to go home and play video games. Or nap, but I'd be too worried about having a concussion and dying in my sleep or something to enjoy it.

2 hours left to go in the day - better get back to it.

The second most boring traffic accident I have ever seen

It was my turn to drive to Chipotle yesterday and on the way back we were stopped at a red light. I was sensibly paying attention to the car in front of me and the light - and therefore missed much of the traffic accident that occured just to the right of us. A women - with a small dog in her lap - ran a red light and hit a van that was entering the intersection on a yellow/red. One of the passengers in my car is a volunteer paramedic and asked me to pull into a nearby parking lot. We parked and he and my other passenger got out to go help - and make a report of what they'd seen if needed. I only saw the tail end of the accident and since I don't have any training in that area - and there were more qualified people there - I stayed back with my car and out of the way.

No one was hurt - though I imagine the dog was a little shaken up when the airbag deployed - and there wasn't much for anyone to do. The police had been called, but were slow in responding, so a business card was left with contact information. I also made a note of the license plate numbers in my phone. And then we went back to work.

The most boring traffic accident I've seen occurred when I lived in Miami. Same situation as this one for the most part but at even lower speed.

Do you feel a draft, or is it just me?

I left work a little early yesterday to take myself to the doctor. The goal was a general checkup and some discussion about my snoring problem - which is apparently loud enough to wake the dead. And you know how I feel about zombies.

I got there early - anticipating traffic and paperwork, neither of which manifested - and was taken into the exam room early. The nurse took my blood pressure and temperature and set out a hospital gown, saying that the doctor would see me, then have me change into the gown for the rest of the exam.

I waited patiently, then talked to the doctor for a bit when he came in. We talked a little about health history, then he told me to change into the gown and he'd be back.

Now, I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but something about that gown - open in the back, too short, etc. - tends to swiftly drain the dignity out of a person. I honestly think I would have felt better just being naked.

The doctor checked my lungs, poked me in the stomach and the glands in my neck, and then did the 'turn your head and cough' routine. I also found out that I needed a tetanus shot - I guess we're due for one every 10 years and I'd never had one. The doctor gave me a clean bill of health and told me the office would be calling me to set up an appointment with an ENT doctor for the snoring. I got dressed again and the nurse came in to give me the shot. I stopped her before she proceeded and asked about side effects - a concern since I'd never had one. Soreness in the arm for a few days was the answer and I let her go ahead. I'm supposed to go back in to get some blood drawn sometime this week.

So, overall, a good visit.

I swam a mile yesterday at lunchtime with the pools lanes set the "long way". I'm used to more, shorter laps and was pretty worn out when I was done. Still trying to get ready for the swim for diabetes.

Played more InFamous last night - went up against these gigantic golem creatures. Turns out the best tactic is throw lighting balls at them and keep moving. And hope for the best.

"Lost" was interesting this week, though my room-mate took what I saw as a deliberate misdirection with the show and decided it validated his theories. I tried to convince him otherwise, but gave up quickly.

I've been reading a pretty good book called "Innocent Mage" by Karen Miller. It's been a fun read, but it took a very abrupt twist in the final section and left with an insane cliff-hanging. I've already bought the sequel so I can jump right back in there, but it was a little jarring.

I got another update from mom about my aunt. She's supposed to meet with the doctors again today with more information on what they found with the surgery and what additional treatment options are available. We're all keeping her in our thoughts.

And speaking of thoughts - I got a second email from mom shortly after my last blog post. I talked to my sister that evening and got the full scoop. I'm paraphrasing and summing up:

Apparently mom talked to my sister and asked if it was a good idea to remind me to pray for my aunt. My sister, of course, said no - reasoning, I'm guessing, that I'm an adult. Mom reminded me anyway in an email - prompting me to post an entry in my blog. My sister reads my blog ("Hi!") and she told mom about it. Mom read the post and responded back to me with another email. Which I didn't respond to. The content had me pretty riled up for a while and I actually wrote a couple of responses before deleting them - reasoning that if an interpretation of an email started this whole thing, then another email is unlikely to make things more clear.

I sort of expected a phone call about that - but it looks like mom is dropping it and I'm eager to do so as well. Not that I won't stand my ground if confronted, but I'm all about not making things worse if it can be avoided.

Ah, the Internet. What would we do without it?

Today is Chipotle day - so, without a doubt, my afternoon will be good. For now, though, back to work.

Jerk Chicken? No, I had the fish.

Went out to Wasabi Steakhouse for dinner on Saturday evening. It was... not a terribly great experience.

Despite being 10 minutes early for the reservation, we had to wait nearly a 1/2 hour for a table. A party of 8 was seated right next to us and proceeded to ruin the evening.

They were very loud. One of the men in particular shared these comments:

1. He's a "very important" doctor.

2. The most interesting lecture he ever attended in med school was a radiologist that shared x-rays of things found in people's rectums

3. He's celebrating his anniversary to his second wife and made some unpleasant comments about his first wife.

4. He plays a lot of golf and enjoys mocking those that are not as good as he is.

As the evening wore on, all the people at that table got louder, ruder, and less pleasant. After one particularly damming comment, I mentally came up with 5-6 ways to end his life, and then did my best to tune him out.

In the presence of very polite and mostly Asian wait-staff, I began to see this group as 'ugly americans'. How must we look to people from different cultures when this guy is representing us? Loud, rude, arrogant, ill-mannered.

On the plus side of the evening:

1. The server was very friendly.

2. The soup was excellent.

3. The table on the other side was quiet and polite - I made paper dragons for them.

4. The fish was okay.

5. The ice cream dessert was very good.

6. The sushi was good, though the portions were small.

I also tried out my new lightsaber chopsticks - they were too slippery to work well. But they did look cool.

The rest of the weekend was pretty quiet. I played a lot of inFamous - and kicked a lot of ass. Good game, very much like a comic book you get to play. I'm playing the character as a hero - which is pretty cool.

I also did a lot a reading and spent some time outside enjoying the day.

I got some news about my aunt as well - she came through her surgery okay and the doctors are trying to determine the type of cancer to see how to proceed. So, good news there, but still pretty scary.

Just now got another update on my aunt from my mom. Pretty much more of the same - though mom threw in some strangely aggressive comments on about how I need to pray more.

I was a little restless over the weekend and don't feel like I got much accomplished, but time to put that aside and get back to work.

Until you swim a mile in my flippers...

Well, I did do a mile in the pool yesterday - but I skipped the flippers. I'd been scaling back the laps in favor of working on speed, but I kicked it up a notch yesterday and did a full mile. Gotta get ready for the Swim for Diabetes coming up.

My aunt's brain surgery is coming up tomorrow. It's ironic when I think of the number of times I've described something simple as "It's not brain surgery" - well, this is.

I'm worried about her and her family and I'll be thinking about her tomorrow. Well, I'm thinking a lot about her anyway, but especially tomorrow.

Chipotle was good today, maybe not quite as awesome as usual, but the company was good. One of our co-workers joined us - he's a volunteer EMT and had some interesting stories to tell. They might have troubled a lesser crowd, but my room-mate is a funeral director and I've heard far, far worse.

I've been playing a pretty cool game called inFamous. Pretty slick graphics and a good story. I keep getting my ass kicked, but I'm still having fun.

I'm running some errands this afternoon and may be stopping by my FRM's mom's apartment to help her hook up her new phone. I suspect it will be a simple job.

Well, time to get out of here. I'm hoping to enjoy a bit more of the sunshine today.

I'm in a car, therefore, I am tired

On Friday morning, I headed into work at my normal time. I dealt with a pile of virtual crap and then at noon, I headed out and headed south. The plan was to meet up with my sister at her house, then head west when my brother-in-law got home. I got to her house 3 hours later and we headed out not long after that. Their new baby did pretty good on the trip and my brother-in-law did all the driving. 6 plus hours later, we arrived at my cousin's house. She got married not that long ago and her new house is amazing. It's really well decorated - except for one room where the walls are painted orange and blue. It's... intense. That was the room I slept in on the futon, but I was too tired to really notice.

I woke up early on Saturday and sat and read until the rest of the house woke up. The girls headed out to a baby shower and the guys were put in charge of decorating the garage for the party that night - and getting tables and chairs. We got everything set up and even did a good job on the streamers and balloons. The girls were impressed later when they got home.

For lunch, we went to Dunkers - a small town bar and grill - and took a short trip afterwards to Walmart.

Back to the home base, I volunteered to help in the kitchen and actually did a pretty good job on the stuffed mushrooms. My cousin was peeling fresh ginger for Ginger Lemonaid - and I wanted to try a piece. She warned me, but let me try some anyway.

It was like a chemical burn - artificial tasting and insanely hot/painful. I had a little trouble breathing and managed to spit most of it out before it got too bad. Lesson learned. And she did warn me, after all.

I also helped with the dishes and managed to cut my thumb on the SlapChop while I was washing it. Of course.

Just enough time to get changed before the guests arrived and the party began - it was the Birth(day)(an)iversary for my aunt and uncle. It was supposed to be a surprise, but they got told beforehand since things were getting rough for my other aunt.

I didn't know many people there, so I mostly hung out with another cousin and taught some origami while listening to the story of how a kid keep messing with him on the bus until he got fed up and threw a punch. No word yet on if he'll get kicked out of school. I hope not, he's a good kid and doesn't deserve any road-blocks to his future.

A little later in the evening we watched a video of my aunt and uncle and their family - it was pretty cool, though a little sappy.

I talked to my other aunt a bit about her upcoming brain surgery. She was putting on a good front, but I could tell she was scared. She told me that she knew I didn't pray much, but she was expecting me to do so for her and I told her I would. She said a lot of people were praying for her and that it was cool that she was getting people to do that. I offered that brain surgery was a little extreme to get people to pray and she laughed and said, "well, whatever it takes"

The party wrapped up and I crashed pretty hard in that orange and blue room and the next morning we went to visit grandma in the nursing home.

It was... rough. She recognized my sister and the baby and I think she knew me, but she was so weak and randomly confused. Her room-mate wheeled in and kept insisting that my grandmother turn and look at her and listen when she explained that she hadn't wet her pants, she had only spilled coffee. Another resident wandered in and picked a fight with the room-mate. It just felt like a place people would go to wait for the end, not a place of healing. The staff were kind and doing what they could but there was just this... emptiness. It was tough to leave grandma there - I'm still upset about it and I more so each time I'm there, but it's not my decision.

From there we went to lunch and another party for the 2 year old son of my cooking cousin. It was a pretty fun time and the food was good, but it ended up being a much later start than I we would have wanted. Back in the car for 6+ hours to my sister's house. I checked online when we got there and since I didn't have any meetings for today I emailed my boss and told him I would be in late. My sister let me crash on a mattress on the floor and I got up early to head back North. I was on the road by 6 am and at work just before 9. Still felt like a full day of work and I expect I'll sleep well tonight.

So, 18 hours in a car over the slightly longish weekend. Incredible mix of emotions. My baby niece is awesome and so are her mommy and daddy. I'm worried about my aunt, my grandmother, and my cousin. Glad I went on the trip, but so very tired. So, laundry, some warm tea and an early night.

Oh. On the trip back, we heard a song I hadn't heard for a while and I wrote some of the lyrics on my hand to look them up. "Standing Outside a Broken Phonebooth With Money in My Hand" - by the Primative Radio Gods. Enjoy.

I have invented a new title for myself

My co-worker and I were at lunch the other day and he commented on how both his mother and his mother-in-law were bombarding he and his wife with "helpful" advice on their impending new baby. The baby isn't due until September and the advice is already coming on heavy.

I thought about this for a moment and said, "This is actually like the two main delivery methods for internet content - Push and Pull.

(Push refers to directly targeted communication to people on topics that may or may not interest them. Pull refers to being able to request content on demand).

I went on to conclude, "They are spamming you and what you really need is an RSS feed!'

We both laughed and I realized I had taken a simple problem and turned it into a model for complicated information processing in the age of the internet.

I was... the Nerd Whisperer.

Restless in Ohio

On Thursday, my Dad called and told me that my aunt (his sister) had what appeared to be a stroke while out with her friends for lunch. In the hospital she seemed to be better, but then had a seizure when she tried to get up. On Friday, he told me that it appeared that she had a brain tumor and that "things were grave". He and my mom were packing to go to Illinois the next day, and planning on taking the week off to be there and visit. He told me he'd keep me updated.

Saturday morning, I went to the last basketball game of the season for my FRM's son. Before the game, while waiting the other game to end, I got out some paper and started folding. Another fan was standing there and asked what I was making - I replied, "A dodecahedron". I think he was a little taken aback, which I found amusing. During half-time, just before the minister started to speak (yeah, it was a basketball game, but it was held in a church's gym) , I located that guy and gave him the finished model. He was impressed and started to hand it back to me and I waved him off and told him to keep it - then I had to head back to my seat before the prayer. The game itself was great and the little dude was on fire. He was quick, confident, and a really good team player.

Saturday afternoon, my room-mate's sister, brother-in-law, and niece and nephew arrived. They were in town for a birthday party and stopped by for a visit. We watched a movie, played some playstation 3 and wii (I did okay in tennis and bowling - and kicked some ass in boxing for a while) . His sister was drinking wine, as she usually does to excess. It seemed like she had less than usual and was pretty okay to be around, but my room-mate thought that she had tremors from not having enough wine. She complained of a stomach problem and didn't eat much - but my room-mate thought she was bad off. There was some tension that evening, but I think I managed to keep it from getting out of hand.

Sunday morning everyone was up early and my room-mate made rolls for breakfast. They left not long afterwards. I played video games much of the day - Bioshock 2 and Darksiders - and in the evening I called my Dad to get an update on my aunt since I hadn't heard anything. It was a somewhat weird conversation.

He answered the phone with a "hey son, what's up?". Very casual with an undercurrent of "why would you be calling me?" Seemed pretty obvious to me. He didn't really have much of an update and seemed distracted by the Scrabble game going on. Rather abruptly, he asked if I wanted to talk to my mom. I said okay and he passed the phone off - and mom had pretty much the same greeting for me. She had a little more detail about what was going on, but even with that didn't have much to say. She mentioned going to visit grandma, but didn't elaborate. They were getting ready to eat dinner and we ended the call on a strange note.

I talked to my sister later that evening and she had more detail on what was going on from a conversation with one of our cousins - details that I would have expected to get from dad and mom. We both agreed at how weird this has been and the problems with communication.

I guess I'm slightly torqued that this has all been a somewhat dry recitation of the facts. My dad's sister-in-law passed away recently, his sister is now in the hospital with a brain tumor, and his mom is not getting better in the nursing home. I wanted to say to him, "Walk away from the scrabble game and tell me what's going on with you and the family". But how do you do that without sounding like a jerk?

So, I'm restless. Out of sorts. Not sleeping well. Tired, cranky, and wishing there was something I could do. There's a line from Mr. and Mrs. Smith: "There's this space between us and it keeps filling up with things we don't say".

Seems like I've got a lot of those spaces to deal with. And how do you get rid of those spaces without making things worse?

Well, I need to get back to work - big projects today that won't wait for me to be in a better mood.

A nice day for a white wedding

Last week was pretty rough at work. In fact, the last three weeks were pretty rough - but I'm still employed and that's more than a lot of people can say. So, I should just shut my mouth and be thankful.

One thing I will say though is that the new office is much noisier. The floorplan is different and the openings to our cubicles face each other. So, over the weekend, I bought some noise canceling headphones. I haven't fired them up yet since I'm the only one here - I'll report more later.

On Saturday, I went to a wedding for one of my co-workers. The music was good, the service was short, and the wait between wedding and reception food was minimal. All good things. I did a little folding at the reception, managed to avoid talking about work, and enjoyed the food. Didn't stay too late - my room-mate was there too and on call - and the Grim Beeper went off. Still, really nice wedding and a good time - despite the crazy amount of snow.

I ran some errands on Sunday, read a couple of books, and then got invited to see Shutter Island.

Ummm... yeah, this sucked. A guy investigates an institution for the criminally insane - what could possibly be the plot twist? Oh, yeah, he's the crazy one. I figured that out in during the opening credits. Good actors, so much potential, ordinary plot. As the closing credits rolled, I said out-loud - "What was that crap?" I also wanted to try a personal lobotomy to see if that would undo watching the movie, but wasn't sure which eye to use.

I'm debating a trip to Illinois. My cousins have made special effort to invite me and make sure I have a place to stay, but the drive.... the drive really intimidates me anymore. It's almost three hours to my parents place or my sister's - and then 6 + hours to Illinois. Then drive all over the place while there and turn around and come back. I know I should just quit complaining since my parents make the drive and it takes them much longer and my sister has a new baby on the way. And it will be fun seeing everyone, but... it's that drive. I'm still debating it.

I'm going to try and get out of here a little early today - giving blood this afternoon. So, I'd best best get to work.